有哪些英语话剧搞笑剧本，适合八个人出演的,有没有有趣的、搞笑的英语短剧剧本？

网友回答

英语小品剧本 -- 孙悟空vs猪八戒
　　An English play---- Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King
　　悟空：师傅,是不是太累了?休息一下再走吧.
　　Master, are you tired? Let’s have a rest.
　　唐僧：没关系,前面不远就有人家了,到了那里再休息吧.
　　I am fine. Let’s have a rest later. Look! There is a house over there.
　　悟空仔细地搀扶唐僧继续行走,同时另一边老头、老妈、小媳妇出场.
　　小媳妇（做哭状）：爹、妈,我……
　　Daddy, mommy, I, I …
　　老头：女儿,快走吧,不然那猪精来了,就走不了了.
　　Honey, hurry up. The spirit is ing soon.
　　小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里,抱头痛哭.老头在一边叹息,擦泪.
　　唐僧、悟空走到他们面前.
　　悟空：师傅,到了.
　　Master, here we are.
　　唐僧（走到老头面前行礼,悟空看见了正在哭的母女俩,觉得奇怪,上下打量）：老施主,我是从
　　东土大唐前往西天取经的和尚,想借贵地休息一晚,不知方便否?
　　Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east. Can we stay over here tonight?
　　老头（做哽咽状）：哦,是东土大唐来的高僧啊,可以可以.（别过脸去继续哭泣）
　　Oh, you are the monk from the east. Sure. Sure, e in, please ……
　　唐僧正在奇怪,老妈闻声抬起头,仔细打量唐僧,突然扑到唐僧面前.
　　老妈：高僧啊,你可要救救我的女儿,救救我们一家啊.
　　Master, please save my daughter, save my family…
　　唐僧：老施主休要伤心,有什么事慢慢说.
　　Don’t be sad, madam. Take it easy. What happened?
　　老头：高僧有所不知,我们这里有一只猪精,今天要来跟我女儿成亲,大家都斗不过它,现在正
　　准备把女儿送出去逃避
　　Master, there is a spirit here. He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are all
　　afraid of him.
　　唐僧：施主莫怕,我这徒弟本领高强,也许他能帮上你们.
　　Calm down, sir. My apprentice has great capability. Maybe, he can help you.
　　老头：唉,高僧啊,以前也来过自称本领高强的师傅,结果都被这猪精打跑了.今天你们就躲着
　　别出来了吧.
　　Alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. But every
　　time, they were defeated by the spirit. You’d better keep away tonight.
　　悟空：噢,有这么厉害的妖怪?我倒要会他一会.待会你们只管躲起来,外面发生什么事,都不
　　用管.
　　What? Is the spirit really so strong? I’d like to see how great he is. All of you
　　just stay inside. Don’t e out no matter what happens.
　　这时起了风声（音乐）,老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖.小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻.悟空镇定
　　地举手示意,让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去.自己也手搭凉篷看了看,便不慌不忙地也躲
　　在了门后,露出一段红袖子.
　　猪八戒大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来,嘴里大喊：小娘子,我来了.
　　Darling, here I am.
　　站在台上停一下,见没有动静,觉得奇怪,往房屋里看去,见露出一段红袖子,高兴地一拍手掌.
　　八戒：小娘子还害羞呢,不敢出来见老猪吗?来,来,来,我们就要是夫妻了,还害什么羞呀!.
　　Darling, don’t be so shy! Please e to me. Come on, we will be a couple.
　　猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子,把小娘子拖了出来,小娘子作出害羞的样子,有时又做出猴子的
　　模样.
　　八戒：小娘子,不用怕,我虽然长得丑,但本领高强,一定会让你过上好日子的.
　　Darling, don’t be afraid. Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I
　　can make you happy.
　　小娘子笑着点头,抓耳挠腮.
　　八戒：小娘子,你高兴的时候干嘛要像猴子一样?
　　Darling, why do you look like a monkey ?
　　小娘子：我一高兴就觉得痒,所以就抓一抓.
　　When I am happy, I always tickle.
　　八戒：高兴就好,高兴就好.我们快入洞房吧.
　　Fine, let’s go to the bedroom.
　　八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻.小娘子作出动脑筋的样子,又把八戒拉回来.
　　八戒：哇,小娘子,你好大的力气啊,干嘛把我拉出来啊?
　　Darling. Why are you so powerful?
　　小娘子：夫君,你这模样进去会吓着我的父母的,还是去你家里吧.
　　Honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. We’d better go to your home.
　　八戒：去我家?那太好了,我们这就走吧.
　　Go to my house?OK. that’s a great idea. Let’s go.
　　两人走了几步,小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子,八戒忙扶起她,作出痛惜的样子.
　　小女子：我一个弱女子,哪里能走这么远?夫君背我吧.
　　I cannot walk any further. Can you carry me on your back?
　　八戒：背你?好,好,好.谁让你是我的媳妇呢?
　　Carry you on my back? All right. Youre my wife after all. Come on.
　　八戒把小女子背上：娘子,我们这就出发了.
　　Darling, Lets go.
　　小女子（在八戒头上一点）：走吧,呆子.
　　Okay. Let’s go.
　　音乐响起(直到八戒摔倒).八戒在台上走一圈,做出越走越慢,越走越累的样子.小女子在他背
　　上抓耳挠腮,非常高兴.
　　八戒：小娘子,你怎么这么重啊?
　　Darling, why are you so heavy?
　　小女子：不是我重,只怕是你不想背我吧?
　　Do you think so? Dont you want to carry me?)
　　八戒：不,不,不,我背,我背.
　　Yes, I do. I do.
　　继续艰难地走.小女子得意地在背上笑.八戒体力不支,一跤摔倒,小女子倒地之后,
　　灵活地越上台上的假山,先做出猴子笑看八戒的样子,再做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟.
　　八戒听到女子的呻吟,忙东张西望找小媳妇.
　　八戒：娘子,摔着了没有?娘子,摔着了没有?娘子,你摔到哪去了?怎么看不见你了?
　　Darling, are you OK? Darling, where are you? Why cant I see you?
　　小女子（偷偷地笑,再装作痛苦的样子）：夫君,我在这里呢.
　　Honey, I am here.
　　八戒：哇,娘子, 你怎么摔到高的地方去了?
　　Darling. Why did you go up there?
　　小女子：还不是你这呆子害的.
　　Thats your fault.
　　八戒：对不起,娘子.对不起,娘子.
　　Sorry, darling. I’m very sorry.
　　小女子：看你这么辛苦,我也摔疼了,那就休息休息吧.
　　You look so tired, and I feel sore. Let’s have a rest.
　　八戒：太好了. 我们就休息一下吧!
　　Have a rest? That’s a good idea. Let’s have a rest.
　　八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息,小女子仔细地打量他.
　　小女子（撒娇地）：夫君,你是哪里的神仙,我都还不知道,怎么能嫁给你呢?你可要告诉我.
　　Honey, how can I marry you? I don’t even know where you e from. You must tell me
　　the truth first.
　　八戒：唉,别提了,想当年我本是天上的天篷元帅,上天入地,八面威风.只因冒犯了嫦娥,
　　被玉帝贬下凡尘,错投了猪胎,长成这般模样.
　　Alas! Don’t mention it. I was Tianpeng marshal, I could fly between heaven and the
　　world. Only because I made a big mistake, I was punished by Yudi. So I became a pig.
　　That’s why I am so ugly.
　　小女子：亏你长得这么丑,还敢出来见人.
　　You look too ugly to meet people.
　　八戒：本来我也不想出来,只是南海观音点化我,叫我在这里等候前往西天的取经人.等了这么久,
　　也不见,便出来逛逛,能碰到娘子你,是我一生的造化,还管它什么西天取经呢?（八戒高兴地过
　　去想拉小女子的手）
　　I didn’t want to e here. Nanhai Guanyin asked me to wait for Tangseng. Ive been
　　waiting for a long time, but nobody has e. It’s lucky to meet you here.
　　小女子（把手甩开）：你说自己是天上的神仙,怎么连我都背不动,真让人难以相信.
　　You said that you were an immortal in the heaven . Why can’t you carry me? It’s
　　impossible!
　　八戒：我真的是天上的神仙,你干嘛不信呢你.
　　I am really the immortal. Why don’t you believe me?
　　小女子：那你拿出点本事来瞧瞧.
　　Show me some gongfu then.
　　八戒：好,让我露两手来给你看看.
　　OK, let me show you my gongfu.
　　从石头后拿出钉钯,舞了起来.小女子暗暗点头.当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时,被小女子一把
　　抓住,往石山后面一拖,八戒被拖了过去.
　　八戒：娘子,你怎么这么大的力气?
　　Darling. Why are you so strong?
　　小女子：有本事你把我拖出去呀.
　　Pull me out if you can .
　　八戒做出用力拖的样子,没有发现拖出来的却是悟空.悟空一松手,八戒摔倒在地.
　　八戒：娘子,你怎么这么狠心把我摔倒了? 不要开玩笑了.
　　How could you let me fall down? Don’t kid any longer.
　　悟空大笑：呆子,看看我是谁!
　　You Silly! Look at me. Who am I?
　　八戒一看,吓得跳起来：齐天大圣,我的妈呀.
　　My god! You are Mahatma!
　　八戒转身想跑,被悟空拦住,两人打了起来,八戒不是对手,被悟空压住,不能动弹.
　　悟空：呆子,你可还敢在这里害人不成?
　　You silly! Dare you harm others any more?
　　八戒：不敢了,不敢了.
　　No, I dare not!
　　悟空： 你可还敢在这里娶媳妇?
　　Dare you wive yet?
　　八戒：不敢了.大圣爷爷饶我.
　　No,no. Please forgive me, Mahatma.
　　悟空：量你也不敢.
　　I bet you dare not.
　　悟空放开,八戒转身想跑,被悟空一把抓住耳朵,疼得直叫.
　　悟空：呆子,想往哪里去?
　　You silly, where are you going?
　　八戒：我已答应你,不再闹事了,干嘛还不放我走?
　　Ill never make trouble any more. Why dont you let me go?
　　悟空：呆子,我带你去见取经人.
　　You silly, Im taking you to meet the sutra-seeker.
　　八戒：什么?取经人来了?
　　What? Has Tangseng e?
　　悟空：走吧.
　　Yes. Lets go!
　　两人在台上走半圈,来到房前.
　　悟空：师傅,出来吧,这妖怪已经被我降服了.
　　Master, please e out! The spirit has been defeated !
　　唐僧等人走了出来,老头一家还有些战战兢兢.
　　悟空：呆子,还不跪下,见过师傅.
　　You silly, kneel down to meet your master.
　　八戒忙对着唐僧下跪,口喊师傅.唐僧非常吃惊.
　　Master, nice to meet you here.
　　唐僧：徒儿,这是怎么回事?
　　My prentice, whats up?
　　悟空：师傅,这是观世音菩萨特意让他在此等候陪您上西天取经的.
　　Master, he will acpany you to the west at Guanyins behest.
　　唐僧：哦,多谢观世音菩萨,既然这样我就收你为徒,赐你法名为
　　八戒.
　　I see! Thank Guanyin! Since then, I will take you as my prentice
　　and name you Bajie.
　　八戒：谢谢师傅（站了起来）.
　　Thank you, my master!
　　老头：恭喜高僧又收神徒.
　　Congratulations!
　　唐僧：徒儿们,我们上路吧.（八戒还依依不舍地看着小女子）
　　Lets go ahead, my prentices.
　　悟空：八戒,还看什么呢?走了.
　　Bajie, there is nothing to attach to. Lets go!
　　八戒恋恋不舍地走到前面带路.

网友回答

荆轲刺秦
　　（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
　　Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）
　　 I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
　　 阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am ing.
　　太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
　　阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
　　（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive modity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
　　阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
　　太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
　　阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?
　　荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
　　荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
　　荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
　　荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
　　荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
　　太子丹晕倒
　　荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
　　太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
　　荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
　　
　　To be or not to be, that's a question.
　　
　　阿三：Hero，we need your help.
　　 荆柯：I am busy now!
　　太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
　　荆柯：I am very busy now!
　　阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
　　荆柯：I am very very busy now!
　　阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
　　
　　荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
　　阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
　　荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
　　阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
　　观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
　　太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
　　荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.
　　阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
　　（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
　　荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
　　太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
　　
　　 Action Ш
　　（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
　　荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
　　阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
　　荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
　　太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
　　（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
　　荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
　　妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
　　荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
　　妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
　　荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.
　　妻子:"I promise."
　　荆轲:"Never let go. “
　　妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
　　（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
　　妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
　　荆珂上船，渐渐远去
　　妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never e back. Never…… Never……
　　妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
　　阿三：Okay okay!
　　旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
　　
　　The End