求一些英语幽默小故事

网友回答

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
　　Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

网友回答

帽子的秘密
　　Mr. Jones had a few days’ holiday, so he said, “I’m going to go to the mountains by train.” He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got on the train. He had a beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off. Mr. Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too. The other people in the carriage laughed. “Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back” they asked. “No,” Mr. Jones answered, “but there’s no name and no address in my hat, and there’s a name and address on the bag. Someone’s going to find both of them near each other, and he’s going to send me the bag and the hat.”
　　银行盗窃
　　An old lady went out shopping last Tuesday. She came to a bank and saw a car near the door. A man got out of it and went into the bank. She looked into the car. The keys were in the lock. The old lady took the keys and followed the man into the bank. The man took a gun out of his pocket and said to the clerk, “Give me all the money.”
　　But the old lady did not see this. She went to the man, put the keys in his hand and said, “Young man, you’re stupid! Never leave your keys in your car: someone’s going to steal it!” The man looked at the old woman for a few seconds. Then he looked at the clerk—and then he took his keys, ran out of the bank, got into his car and drove away quickly, without any money.
　　迈瑞的学校
　　Mary was an English girl, but she lived in Rome. She was six years old. Last year her mother said to her, “You’re six years old now, Mary, and you’re going to begin going to a school here. You’re going to like it very much, because it’s a nice school.” “Is it an English school” Mary asked.” Yes, it is,” her mother said. Mary went to the school, and enjoyed her lessons. Her mother always took her to school in the morning and brought her home in the afternoon. Last Monday her mother went to the school at 4 o’clock, and Mary ran out of her class. “We’ve got a new girl in our class today, Mummy,” she said. “She’s six years old too, and she’s very nice, but she isn’t English. She’s German.” “Does she speak English” Mary’s mother asked.” No, but she laughs in English,” Mary said happily.
　　女士优先
　　Lady First 女士优先 A
　　teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence ' The ox and the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is not correct. The lady must be mentioned first."
　　女士优先
　　一位老师问班上的学生：”公牛和母牛在田里“这个句子对吗？” 大多数学生回答说：“对，一点不错。” 只有一个小男孩说：“不对，应该先说女士。”