求一篇搞笑或者幽默的英文小品。还要翻译

发布时间:2019-07-29 15:02:28

求一篇搞笑或者幽默的英文小品。还要翻译

推荐回答

英文Super funny edy "blind detection ."( Figure A, rural old man aged 61 years is a rheumatic diseases , or a serious presbyopia. Figure B , drug agent detection division , or a high degree of myopia , myopia up to 1250 degrees )( Props, two chairs , a work desk , a bed. )( Scenario A one stage hands also take a walk on crutches to assist walking cane, said while walking )A : My old man suffering from rheumatism for many years ; to see a doctor , spent all the family money ; no way I had to borrow money from the sick to see ; your patient alive is hard to talk about this ! I have recently heard that there is a kind of what is called, " Zhuiming revive Dan ," the drug can treat : " osteoarthritis rheumatoid, what organs can cure AIDS " buy point try. Looking for most of the day , the address , the sale of drugs is this place ! ( A slowly pushed open the door into the house , he saw , B are lying on the floor touching things, old man vertigo, did not see what they said is Gesha )A : This is a place to sell drugs a dog doing it ! Gosh ! What breed ah ! Head is not small ! ( In this case, B to A climb over, according to B of A is the kick ass shouted ) to bite me Tisi you !B : Oh ! Who kicked me !A : OMG ! You see my eyes, this is not the man you ! ( Hurried apology ) I'm really sorry ! My bad eyes , and consequently see a piece . Mistook you as that thing up !B : ( slowly stood up ) What do you do ?A : I was rheumatic patients to these medicines , you are " Zhuiming revive Dan " factory agent , right ?B : ( B one thought is to buy medicine , the sale to a busy answered with a smile ) Yes! We are looking for old rades to the bench to sit down and talk ( B groping to find a stool and sat down )B : Come and sit down old rades ! ( A also looking stool and sat down )A : You just lying on the floor doing? Whole I thought you were going to bite me!B : Oh ! This is not it all a misunderstanding , I myopia , which put just can not find my glasses , no glasses and I almost blind , just what is in touch glasses .A : Oh ! You also worse than I am blind , how would you in this one ?B : There is one, go to the next patient mercials go. The smaller the person , the less overhead it!A : Oh ! Broadcast every afternoon . Those patients say that this drug God ! Do not know, it makes good medicine in the end !B : This is where you can e on , I tell you about the pharmacological it !A : What do you say speak.B : Do you know " Zhuiming revive Dan " This drug is how made it?A : I do not know .B : Tell you what, " Zhuiming revive Dan " This drug wow , is extracted from turtle egg out !A : turtle egg ?B : that people say bastard .A : Oh ! Understand, you son of a bitch this drug is extracted from the inside out ! Right ?B : You can almost say that!A : That son of a bitch what's inside can be a good thing ah ?B : Then I ask you: Is this bastard of a long life is not long ?A : Long ! Millennium bastard you !B : Do you think again , bastard often live in the water , then damp places , so why should not it rheumatism ?A : That I can not say that it was only sick bastard shall not wet know !B : You are not a medical student , the course does not know. Let me tell you , it is because the body contains a bastard rheumatoid antibodies ! We just put this antibody extracted, made a " Zhuiming revive Dan " , this time you get the point ?A : Oh ! I lived most of my life , the son of a bitch is a bad thing you know , I did not expect so much useless these days bastard !B : You're right , it is very useful to big !A : On your flyer reads: "first free testing , after the medicine ." Detection of places where you?B : Oh ! I'm detection division, right here.A : Are you ?B : how , do not believe me , I'm a regular medical school , ah , did not see my eyes so big right degree , are learning to learn ah !A : I do not do not believe you, but you do not have glasses, how to detect it?B : I'm very skilled medical care which , no glasses does not matter, which sell drugs bear , I was talking about early medicine, early health ! So dark and dreary yet !A : All right ! It started , how check it?B : We examined three aspects , and then give you a diagnosis. You listen to me on the line !A : OK ! All listen to you.B : I will start with a drop of blood collected on your ears , look at your blood viscosity ! ( B touched the drawer and took out a plate, and a knife ) stretched over the ear !A : ( mouth constantly muttering ) I do not grasp. . . . . . Does not seem to grasp. . . . . .B : Do not panic !A : fool can not nervous , take my blood and not take you ! ( A slowly stretched his head , grabbed his hand touched a B ears )B : I'm going to blood , ah , do not move ! ( Only to hear , yeah ! Bang , A is B 's ears cut a long hole , the blood continued to flow out )A : Doctor, I just got it wrong now ! You're picking a drop of blood or the blood of a pound ah !B : I do not have to tell you do not move you, what you always shiver Yeah !A : For you this look, everyone was shaking !B : OK ! Enough blood , and quickly medication cloth, cover your ears , ( A took drugs cloth covered his mouth and ears residence not say )A : What blood enough, I have to see more !B : Now you knelt on the bed to support his hands , head and rushed west. After reading the blood viscosity, I'll give you the last second detection .A : ( slowly over to the bed to himself :) This hurts my ears , what Chong Dong , Chong West . Really not a thing !B : ( After a while , B groping came to bed, feeling a butt says ) raised his point ! ( A lift up the buttocks lift ) this old man with so large a mask doing it , face a big enough ! The masks win !A : masks ? I did not wear masks wow , your doctor made a mistake ! That was my butt , head over here where !B : You see you, I will not tell you head west punch you, how do you put the red ass West it! ( B touched a head, by a few A's cervical spine, for a say ) You say now , ah !A : ( A said in a trembling voice ) ah !B : ( B fiercely say a ) too serious !A : ( A asks the doctor Road ) doctor , rheumatism does not seem so check it ?B : Listen to my right ! Come on down .A : ( A bed slowly down his mouth and said ) not wrong with it , face and buttocks are hard to tell !B : Come here , I'll give you Baba Mai . Outstretched left hand !A : Doctor, I left not.B : I said the line on the line, should the left hand. You heard Nanzuonvyou you ! ( A , no way out his left arm , B , while the vein while asked ) you rheumatoid many years ?A : Oh , my rheumatism must be very old ! Very young my mother said I have rheumatism, wind and rain my leg was so painful that way ! The older , the more serious this sick!B : Oh , OK, just checking through , and through me on your pulse, I already know the condition of your friends !A : I diagnose what is Shabing ah ?B : With my years of experience , as well as the length of time you get sick , I can conclude that you have the typical " congenital postpartum rheumatism " !A : ah ! From my point of view that you context it?B : Your context is very smooth , and quickly take " Zhuiming revive Dan " it ! Guarantee that you will not hurt !A : What if it hurts ?B : Then you can continue to eat , guaranteed! One day the pain will slowly disappear !A : I understand, you are said to have died on It does not hurt anymore !B : What is this nonsense !A : Doctor , you're worthy of geniuses , I too admire you, you have given me to feel the pulse of a prosthetic arm ! ( A turned to go out, her lips to say ) can extract the son of a bitch in anything good ! I see you and your drugs are the same, are extracted from the son of a bitch ing out !B : old rades ! 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